Brenda Mary Biseau

My dear darling Brenda, Words cannot even come close to encompassing my devastation of losing you. Our 12+ years of frienship has meant the world to me, and I just can't comprehend that I'll never see you again, or hear you hollar out my name when we would unexpectedly cross paths, or have any more of our conversations about the absurdities of life. You were always my go-to bestie for any meaningful discussion of any kind. I valued your opinions and your take on things, bc there was no one smarter, or more insightful than you. And then there was your dry sense of humour which I loved so much! Even though sometimes we wouldnt talk for weeks, I always knew you were there. You battled your illness with a bravery and strength I could only hope to muster up one day. They say bereavement comes in stages, when finally acceptance is inevitable. I don't know if that will ever be possible for me. I just can't picture life without you in it. I will forever continue to talk to you, hoping your spirit can hear me. Maybe I'll just be that crazy broad talking to herself, but I choose to think otherwise. It's the only comfort I have. Life can be so unfair, snd so cruel. Like why did it have to be you?!! I will love and miss you, forever and ever.

Dear Ben and Brenda's family, Please accept my deepest condolences for your loss. I was very sad to hear this news. What a beautiful, smart and funny lady. I'm going to miss her very much.

My deepest condolences to Brenda’s family, close friends & partner. Brenda was my first roommate when I had just moved to the big city of Toronto as an 18yr old. I met her through friends and she seemed to come into my life at exactly the right time. She was the best first roommate a young girl could ask for - she looked out for me, was my tour guide, my chauffeur, and sort of a big sister that I never had. We lost touch over the years and saw each other once or twice when she had a brief stint in the wine industry. I’ve never forgotten her, because how could you. In memory of Brenda I’m going to play some albums that remind me of her and the brief time we spent together in this crazy, beautiful connected in some way life we all share.

To Ben and the rest of Brenda’s family, I am so deeply sorry for this immense loss. There just are no words. People who weren’t close with Brenda saw a tough cookie with strong opinions. She was definitely that, but also, she was a ball of mush on the inside. She was someone who loved her friends and her pets as deeply as love can be given. Brenda felt empathy for total strangers all over the world who were suffering because of injustices and politics. Genuine to a fault, she was. Brenda didn’t lay down her shield easily (nor do I), so when she did, you just knew you had the love of a friend who would do anything for you, and never ask for anything in return. In her last 6 months she selflessly helped save my dog’s life. Literally. I didn’t miss the chance to tell her how grateful I was for that, but I never got to repay her. — Brenda, you asked me back in March to make sure that if you died, Loula would have adventures and make friends and not become anti-social - you said, “don’t let her get depressed,” and I promised I wouldn't. I will repay you with Loula smiles for the loyalty and kindness you showed me throughout the years. I miss you and I will think of you everyday. I still cannot believe I’ll never talk to you again, and that we’ll never share another laugh over a BLL. The unfairness of it all is too much, but I wouldn’t trade a second of the heartbreak. Love you.

PS Brenda: That epic thunder/hail/hurricane storm the day you died? That was you, admit it. I miss you so much. Keep those thunderstorms coming.

Hi Ben, family and all of Brenda's friends. Brenda has been a part of my life practically since I moved to Toronto. It's funny how our circles always collided. I knew her from my social group when I was in my 20’s, then re-met her when she started her first music industry job, shared office space with her at True North Records when I ran VideoFACT/MuchFACT and she was the label publicist, and then you guys became my neighbours and Brenda and I were both working as independent dog walkers. It’s crazy when you think of it – in this huge city she’s always been a constant I could depend on. More like a cousin than anything, really. Brenda made me laugh because she truly was her own self with no filters required and with zero apologies for being who she was. You have no idea how much I admired that, and aspired to that. It’s a huge gift to have that confidence. I often thought that she was the ghost writer for Mark Manson's best seller "The Subtle Art.." I mean truly, is there anything more Brenda than the line "Not giving a ___ does not mean being indifferent; it means being comfortable with being different". She should have earned royalties on that book. Her ability to be herself with no apologies was a true mark of emotional and intellectual intelligence. I considered that her true gift and I wished I could be more like her on so many occasions. I truly admired that strength of conviction. But it wasn’t all about no filters. Because of her confidence, she was also gifted with this amazing ability to open her heart and be such a rock to others. I'd be blown away at her concern for me when she herself was facing huge health challenges. And through it all, she still made me laugh and she made me feel loved - that is an incredible gift. I hold the times we spent driving up to the barn together really close to my heart - every time we went up she talked about how much joy being around horses gave her. I thought she was crazy to buy a horse - I wasn't keen on re entering the equine world fully so remained a side liner for the most part, but Ranger turned out to be a wonderful gift to her and she was the most awesome equestrian and owner to him. Being around her horse gave her so much joy and he is probably the luckiest horse alive to have been chosen by her. Same goes for Lou - Brenda committed about 8000 percent to the care of her animals. And that’s not even mentioning the care she gave to her dog walking and pet care clients. She was the real deal. Over the past few days, I've had the opportunity to revisit many memories spanning our time as young adults enjoying a vibrant music culture, our time on Jersey Avenue as neighbours, our time at the barn, our phone conversations and epic text conversations, our conversations about dogs, our time together in the music industry sharing office space, and our last conversation, in which she told me she felt so at peace in her new home. She told me she could sit and watch the hawks come and go and it was like being at the cottage or living in the trees. If there is any message I can pass on to Ben, her mom and her loved ones - it's this: she loved her life. She was smart enough, hard working enough and confident enough to make her own dreams come true, and there is no way in the world that illness was going to take that away from her. I don't think the reality of her passing has hit me yet, she was such a staple in my life - that one person who I could trust to always be real and honest. I will miss being able to randomly send a text, picking up on a 25- year conversation where we last left off. I loved you Bren, and I am going to miss you. To everyone who loved her – we’ve suffered a great loss.

To all of those who knew and loved Brenda, I am so sorry for your loss 😔 My heart is broken...my best friend has been ripped from my life 💔 Brenda was the strongest, funniest, fiercest person I have ever know, and my life will never be the same! Brenda first came into my life due to the horse world; we both bought our horses 10 years ago and as we grew to know each other, we rode with each other constantly. Oh those were the best of times; we would talk, yell, vent, laugh...so much laughter...gallop all around for hours or quietly discuss the secrets of the universe, and always together! At first our horses were not the best of friends, but after my horse, Firefly, gave her horse, Ranger, a good kick in the chest (apparently he was in her space lol) and he just looked at her more lovingly than ever, they became quite the couple! We used to joke that he’d better put a ring on her soon! After that we always kept our horses together; we moved them twice and ended up at Wildcard, where they have been cohabitating for the past five years. We took care of each other’s horses when needed, and always looked out for each other. We rode together, winter, spring, summer and fall - no matter the weather! Brenda was always a trooper, and just as crazy as I am! Who else would be riding up and down McCowan because the forest footing was too icy, at -30, and in a snow storm! Now that’s commitment! And we had so much fun doing it! No regrets, ever! Over the past 4 or 5 years Brenda had to take a few breaks due to surgeries, but she’d be back in the saddle (figuratively speaking as we both always rode bareback) far sooner than she was supposed to, a total trooper, always! And Ranger instinctively knew when she was fragile and took care of her. As Brenda’s cancer became a daunting factor in her life again, she asked me to care for Ranger for the rest of his life if she didn’t make it! Heartbreaking, yes, but she was always preparing for whatever life threw at her! And of course there were a lot of stipulations...“do not cut a bridle path or I will come back and haunt you!” is one example...and I may do it just to have her haunt me! Of course I promised to fulfill all of her wishes, and he will be lovingly cared for, until his last breath 💕 As time went on Brenda became the best friend I have ever had! We shared our lives with each other multiple times a day, sometimes ridiculously so! Venting to each other, sharing our darkest secrets, laughing and joking about everything! I can’t count the number of times I have picked up my phone to to text her about an event, something I saw, a memory or a photo...or one of our acquired inside jokes...now all lost to the universe. Her humour was clever, funny and at times cutting...but always spot on! I’m just so lost and sad without her, my Brenda 😢 Life will continue, but it will never be the same. It is still so difficult to understand that I will never see her again, talk to her, fight with her (oh, we had a few good ones!), confide in her, learn from her (the girl had amazing research skills!), ride with her...but I will never stop loving her, and she will be imprinted in my memory forever ♾ Brenda, I respect you, cherish you, mourn you, but most of all I love you and will forever. Rest In peace my beautiful friend ❤️ Your friend, JeannieJeanBean 💕 Sent from my iPhone

My sincere condolences to all of those that knew Brenda. She came to my farm every day that she could for the last 5 years. As she would ride down the lane way past my deck, we would banter back and forth and have a good laugh. I am surly going to miss her!

My dearest friend, Brenda. I don’t really know where to begin. After such an unfair end, where can anyone possibly begin? In the 21 years I’ve known you, we’ve spent so many memorable moments together. It’s profoundly disappointing to me how I will never ring in a new year with you, again. Or share drinks with you at our local pub, patio, or take down a bottle of wine with you. The thought we’ll never be able to disagree about how tall I am—a personal favourite of yours, that you eventually had the good sense to let go. (5’9” by the way. You were right.) I’m sad I will never hear you holler something hilariously absurd that you obviously disagreed with, at a television. From now on, I’ll never hear your amazing, full-throated laugh again, or see you smile mischievously about some stupid, sick joke we share. I’ve cried myself dizzy thinking about how much I’m going to miss those things, and how they will leave a ponderous crater in my heart. In your final few weeks, you asked after my mother who had minor surgery. You implored me to take care of Ben. You kind of knew you were dying, and your only thought was of other’s welfare. I know my own nature, and I don’t think I’ll be able to muster that kind of unselfish concern when I reach my end, but you’ve inspired me to try. You weren’t everyone’s best friend. (Who the hell wants to be?) And goodness knows, I’m an acquired taste. Yet, we know by instinct when we meet a member of our own tribe. And I realized because I love and cherish my friend Ben, you were always on my side. And goddamn—what a formidable person to have on your side. You’re gone; and we’re here; marching toward our own respective ends. My sadness and anger run so unfathomably deep, that one day whatever cosmic, unmerciful agent of fate thought it was reasonable to extinguish your life at the age of 47, will have to answer to me for what they’ve done. Though if they exist, I’m sure they’re getting more than an earful from you, already. In all sincerity, I hope you’re somewhere laughing at us all scrambling to put our lives back together and having a good ol’ laugh at our expense. I hope you’re in a place where there’s no excruciating pain. Where there are a variety of horses and dogs for you to choose from. My sincerest wish is there’s another life where you are never misunderstood—where your true, full generosity, beauty, and depth of your spirit is comprehended and cherished by all. It is my heart’s fondest wish that it is a place where you will greet me, one day; and call me “stupid” for ever doubting the possibility. Anything less is too painful to me for me to comprehend. I would do anything to have you back. You were genuinely one of the brightest sparks I’ve ever known. I will love and miss you horribly the rest of my life. Goodbye. I am forever your friend. Dave

Ben my heart goes out to you. I am at a loss for words. The comfort I take away is she is finally with Jerry and he will watch over her from this point on and her suffering is over. Remember her often and she will always be close by. She was one strong person.

Our thoughts are with you during this time. May memories of Brenda bring comfort, strength, joy and laughter over time.